A Beautiful Disaster Indeed

Truth to be told, I'd conclude it this way.

The Wingtip Passing Over

I could have watched 'Up in the Air' but someone would not let me so. Sentimental and award winning sort of movies always excite me better than feasting on Korean food. I used to dream about gathering with all the people I adore who are either faraway or forever busy and feasting on Korean royal delicacies like those in the drama series 'Dae Jang Geum'. You must be amazed at the fact that I'm pretty good at fooling with fantasies. Can't help it. I don't watch porn so I need to exercise the thinking skills.

Talk about crapping. I'm supposed to just share a quote with you before I head off to bed. The main character Ryan Bingham says this in a voice-over when he observes an airplane taking off, letting off his luggage:

'Tonight most people will be welcomed home by jumping dogs and squealing kids. Their spouses will ask about their day. Tonight they'll sleep. The stars will wheel forth from their daytime hiding places, and one of those lights, slightly brighter than the rest, will be my wingtip passing over.'

I always tell people 'youth' is my asset. Being young means I won't have to worry about longing for companionship at the moment. But I just can't deny there is this fear of being lonely when everyone else will be happily struggling with commitments while I'll very likely still wonder if permanence comes with commitments. Do I even have a choice?

Somehow, it saddens me to see the old folks' face glowing when they talk about my nieces and nephews.

I Was

They told me I've lost the 'coolness' upon laughing at the way I ran after the basketball. I thought that's good news. I meet these people once in a blue moon to remind myself of who I was. People change but it's a matter of for the good or worse. When I was 'cool' back then, I thought I was very good. I didn't mind fighting with people of authority and experience because I watched too much of American reality shows. As if 'personality' sells. Duh. What makes you shine is how hard you work and having good contacts. So today I bow when I have to. I yell at idiots when I need to. Glad to learn that I've grown so much emotionally. There is no longer this void that constantly yearns to be filled. Please, I want year 2011 to be an awesome one. Expecting abundance of fun and humble achievements. And to keep in tighter contact with friends.

Thanks, old folks, for giving me the world. =)

'There are always flowers for those who want to see them.' Henry Matisse