Choices Suck

'It is our choices that show who we truly are, far more than our abilities.' - JK Rowling, Harry Potter.

You know what they say, being honest to yourself is so much harder than convincing someone else of what and who they really are. It's just like I'm telling you you need to work yourself out and stop being a bitch to yourself or to those who care for you, before you start hurting yourself but instead of turning over a new leaf, you go on messing with your life, screwing yourself down to the drain and the next thing you know, I heard of the news that you might be pregnant. Shall I give you a standing ovation for such pride of yours over your indecent sexual activity, evidently, the likely public announcement of your estopped menstruation for the past two months on Facebook? Or shall I as an ex-close friend, mourn over the death of the rational and cheerful soul in you that I once knew not too long ago? If things did not change too fast too scaringly, I just wish I could give you a big tight slap as a friend who reads your silent misery to wake you up widely from the nightmare you induced yourself into. Unfortunately, I have to agree with Switchfoot's 'This is Your Life'. You are who you want to be, stranger, given all the abundance of good things and paths you could have chosen.

On another note, I had a really rare conversation with my Indonesian maid. We call the 22 year-old maid, 'Kakak' or sister in Malay Language. Honestly speaking, I don't fancy having a close friendship with maids even though I had in the past because some maids just can't seem to reciprocate even the royal treatment you give them. I was told to persuade Kakak to extend her employment contract for another 2 years with us because we eagerly need a helpful maid at home to help out with the moving out and household chores while the house renovation is conducted. It was actually our first time conversing that long. We talked about her life back in hometown, her younger sister and what the society in the rural village expects of her. It's somewhat sad. She is torn between abiding the norm of getting married before reaching the age of mid 20s and earning more to support the living of her family. She may choose but the choices are limited. To stay back and work for the money that finances her sister's college studies and to be bound to be single for the rest of her life (customary tradition of suitable age for marriage) or to return to where she belongs so she can plant vegetables alongside her aging mother and to marry someone who will most likely cheat on her. It's not uncommon that marriages are doomed to fail there. (Well, you know the Indonesians.) She then decided to stay. Of course my mum was the happiest but Kakak while enjoying the more comfortable life here is saddened that she will not reunite with her family so soon.

Life's not always fair. Sometimes you can get a splinter even sliding down a rainbow. And when I'm typing this, I can't cease myself from being affected by my poor pet dogs. I'm not at all a pet lover but what shall I do with George and Bobby who are infected by heart worms and have lost their survival skills if my father abondons them on the streets when the house renovation begins? An alternative is to opt for PAWS, an animal shelter. Sending them both to the shelter means murdering them because PAWS shall put them to sleep if they are infected by diseases. My father suggested leaving them to be fed by the construction workers while we are away staying temporarily in an aparment but I doubt the workers will treat our dogs nicely.

'Only the pot knows how hot the boiling soup feels.' - Like Water for Chocolate

It just reminds me of myself when I first recognised myself being doomed to be who I am right now. Some argue it's about choice but I still can't seem to agree. What if I can't change what it's supposed to be? Well, somehow it doesn't really matter anymore because I really enjoy being who I am by present. (^_^) Sorry for the MIA-ness. Blame the school policy and lousy course structure.

A Lady Gaga Inspiration: Bad Romance

If you think nerds are not hot, sexy and cool; take a look at this and judge for yourself.

A new friend of mine whose knowledge miles away exceeds his peers and sometimes lecturers has all the intelligence and confidence we law students desire. The contradicting thing about him is he labels himself a loser when it comes to girls and relationship. (=_=) He says it all the time," Romance is not my game." My best suggestion for him is to listen to more of Lady Gaga's hit songs like 'Bad Romance' and 'Lovegame' to learn more dirty tricks to win girls' heart. Yea yea yea, as if I am the professional here.

On the other hand, just when I thought I have mastered the art of shutting myself off from unnecessary misery, I wept like a girl twice this month. Thanks to a sister-buddy who just left for Melbourne and the other close girl friend who made me recall of the good old days in our very brief reunion. Jeez. I must have a truly romantic nature, for I weep when there is nothing else to weep about. LMAO~~~

It Doesn't Matter that We are Meant to Say Goodbye

They say we tend to instil excessive expectation on our other half because we learn unnecessary flights of imagination and fantasies from novels and movies of romance genre. The one who loves least controls the relationship and so I consider ourselves very rational because we do not stick to each other like those typical dead-locked infatuated lovers. Why one would prefer flying in his dreams when staying awake and enjoying the reality of having someone like you as a listener every night could be so comforting? Thank you, really, for being who you are and accepting my flaws and immaturity.

I care not that you find yourself dull, robotic and know nothing of romance. I care of cherishing the weekeends and hours we spend intimately before we are to go our separate ways some day soon. We were given: two hands to hold, two legs to walk, two eyes to see and two ears to hear. But why only one heart instead of two? Perhaps the other was given to someone else, for us, to find. And I hope you are the one, for now.

Happy Valentine's. Appreciate.

Law of Attraction Says it All ...

So I went to the Accomodation Office for the N-th time to meet the manager for the very first time.

I found yet another dead cockroach next to my refrigerator on Sunday. It totally killed my jovial weekend mood. Just put yourself in my shoes: Shopping and burning some cash with a recently given platinum card and before I had time to celebrate my new polo shirt and three pairs of uber gorgeous pants, I got freaked out by a dead pest. This is not normal at all. I know of people living in the same residence hall and yet they do not have problem with pests or bad smell. I did whatever I could to get rid of the odour. I mop and sweep the floor very often and develop a new 0bsession for making the bathroom shine like diamond. Do I have to mention the pandan leaves, charcoal, pest trap (previously)? And yet cockroaches love my room so much they have to pay me unwanted visits.

Accomodation Office Manager tried to sound as friendly as he could but with me playing lawyer with him with my upset facial expressions and careful use of language, he decided to make the conversation sarcastic. Typical Malaysian attitude of disrespecting consumers' interests. Is that what you call first amongst equals? (School motto. Duh~ Ya right...) Before making thourough investigation, he claimed I am being too sensitive and that if their actions do not meet my requirements I am free to surrender my lousy room and obtain my reasonable refund. Oh wow. Now I am starting not to love the School that much anymore~ Such unreasonable response to my complaint resembles the Malaysian common real life situation of women filing a police report that they got raped and getting cold shoulders from male police officers who assumed these rape victims are nothing but whores who invited sexual harrassment themselves. Now we know why women are yes-men (I meant yes-women) in the Parliament.

The lousy manager was so compelled to tell a story of his daughter having problems with centipede in her bathroom and that the Law of Attraction explains it all the daughter was the major reason for inviting the poisonous insect. Ahuh~ You do not need to be legally trained to pick up his ratio decidendi. So I asked him if I should be deemed the cause of my own pest trouble. He grinned and said he was giving useful suggestions to solve my problem. Aww. So sweet of him. Am I touched? HELL NO! If I am going to hell, I will drag him along too~!

You know, I wish the School teaches us first year Law students the Law of Attraction. Wonder how useful is that gonna be? Like if you keep telling yourself subconsciously you will get an A for English Legal System, you will seriously get an A? Oh darn it. Then we do not even need quality lecturers anymore :)

Am trying real good to control my anger by telling myself: I am a lovely and funny guy and do not let cheap things get into my classy, sophisticated mind. Hopefully Law of Attraction works this way then. LMAO ... ...


'I used to store anger and it affected my play. Now I get it out. I'm never rude to my playing partner. I'm very focused on the ball. Then it's over.' - Helen Alfredsson, American Golfer.

Jantan Sejati

Do you know how much pride I take in having all these hideous bruises? People love labelling me 'sissy' but that does not stop me from kicking and hitting my opponents in the Taekwondo ring. Mum wants me to play basketball since childhood because most guys out there show off their masculinity by sweating and running around and attracting the opposite sex's attention by flexing their muscles. Dad expects me to be like him; capable of fixing light bulbs, car engine and enduring the tiresome ordeal of gardening. I am sorry. I cannot be someone I am not meant to be. The least I can do to be a man is to protect the people I love from being hurt. That explains it all why I like Taekwondo to this extent of being injured so badly. There may come a day when I need to make use of the self-defense skills to keep my girl friends, sister or my mum from being hurt. Who knows macho guys may need me too?

A guy does not need a muscular body figure.

A man does not need to be athletic. A manly instinct lies in its nature of being defensive and loyal to those who he cares. I care not not to be a guy you expect me to be as it is shallow to stereotype a gender. I would do whatever it takes to keep my beloved ones from harm. This is what makes me a man; perhaps more manly than any of the egoistic guys out there who love to belittle men of different behaviour and exploit the ladies who are of the same gender as their mothers.

But there is a man we all have to look up to, that is our every own father. A Father: Someone we can look up to no matter how tall we get.

Looking forward to the Taekwondo friendly match next week. :)

Liberalism at School

Criminal law case studies are such painful but fascinating tasks. I have this new habit of citing case authorities even in casual conversations with my fellow seniors and classmates to crack ourselves into laughter. Nothing can stop me from falling in love with the academic arguments and fruitful discussions with these people. This is what I call a real study environment.


What excites me the most is the liberal culture that is practiced in this School. In most colleges in the Klang Valley, you find school management giving us cold shoulders despite the great amount of fees paid and complaints filed not entertained most of the time, unless parents' involvement create a certain surge of upholding consumers' rights amongst ignorant students. This is a fact. We, Malaysians are such typical Asians who care not to observe the fundamental rights we hold but care only of personal interests and family dignity. Maoism and Confucianism best reflect our binding rule of life, that is, to abide by the regulations laid down by the Elders and as long as we fulfill the social expectations we are good and successful human beings. No. I refuse to conform to Western Liberalism (drugs, sex without commitment etc) but I do believe in freedom of speech. If you do not believe in my point of view, do take a look at our education system. Memorising your teachers' teachings and following their instructions tightly are all about getting good grades. (of course it comes with hard work and a little bit of intelligence) Writing down every single word in academic references for homework in foreign countries may fail themselves because there is no personal touch of criticism and individuality. Now we know why we are far left behind, don't we? So, please start making a change by debating with your parents about politics and traditional customs.

The School and our Student Council co-organised this annual grand event called the Student Forum. The attendance of the Senior Managers of each department is compulsory and all students are invited to ask questions and raise any controversial issue. Those Senior Managers who are not able to provide a satisfying answer shall bear the shame of being incompetent in their work. Doesn't this resemble Question Time and Check on Executive? (I like Constitutional Law a lot) Being the usual clownful outspoken joker who does not formulate whatever message he wants to convey in his speech before opening his mouth, I stepped forward and told the whole School about my ridiculous story of the pests in my hostel room. (Killed 8 big juicy cockroaches so far. Got ambushed by a rat once) I demanded for a new room as I emphasised I deserved what I paid for and giving me a new, complete-furnished, pest-free room is the least the School can do to pay for all the costs I have incurred recently - the tiring moving in and out of my belongings to a temporary room and my loss of concentration during revision hours due to the flying cockroaches and rats.

I also praised the staff at the Accomodation Office and B & G Departments for being patient, friendly and responsive all this while. It was such a relief to have told the Senior Management about my situation but I doubt the School will provide me a new room. Sigh. Rooms are all booked in the hall, so said. What a lie. Nevertheless, the Student Forum was such a good platform for students to throw their doubts and voice their grievances toward the School that is achieving the 'University' status next year. I love the part where we are allowed to condemn the Management in public. How liberal of that! The least such a platform can do is to remind the Senior Managers they have to seriously take further actions to tackle all the issues concerned.


It made me wonder though. If the previous school I belonged to had organised an event as such or at least be more liberal to criticism, instead of forwarding students' blogs to the public, I would not have to undergo emotional roller-coaster and be forced to adapt to such a sudden change in environment albeit I love almost everything about the current School at the moment.

Liberalism has its downside though. 'It only takes 20 years for a liberal to become a conservative without changing a single idea.' - Robert Anton Wilson...

Me encanta revistas jurídicas...

Bonding with the law journals and collections of articles which are thicker than yellow-pages is so much easier than dealing with non-sensical jokers who find themselves playing too much with the boundaries of rationality and sentimentality. The least one can do if the rhetorical legal language causes a hell of confusion is to refer to a simplified case book or Nutshell references for a remedy to mend those holes punctured in an intially-ambitious-heart, a naive heart with great passion for Justice. I find myself in favour of the people-book bonds than the overestimated people-people affairs.

A month ago I told myself: if there is a law to govern what we humans embrace so much, that is 'friendship', I would love to criminalise the omission of 'duty to care for a friend' and the voluntary act of 'backstabbing your close friend(s)'. Somehow, with the influence of the tranquility of the law library and the endless case studies, I concluded I made the right prompt choice by leaving the city of drama queens and conflicts. A month later, the new environment tells me not to let the past haunt myself and no apologies need to be given. I cite the case Empress Car Co v National Rivers Authority to convey the extent of responsibility I had over the recent drama.

The downside of staying in the outskirts is: I forgo the opportunity to live the urban style of being competitive and cunning. This downtown boy here calls 'friendship' an insignificant human nature if you were to compare it with all those relevant precedent cases which come with judicial review or great criticisms. Hello, the world is not going to end just because someone tells everyone you are ugly or whatnot. Mind your own business and think like those typical evil lawyers in John Grisham's novels. Emotions are such unnecessary burden to be shouldered they kill time and motivation. So wake up!

Throw away the bad and take in the merits of those valuable experiences. Just let me study in peace and fuck off, odds.

'Hope doesn't come from calculating whether the good news is winning out over the bad. It's simply a choice to take action.' - Anne Lappe. I believe I took mine.