I'm effing bored, aight?!

Sometimes all you want is to be left alone. To defend yourself looks more like you're covering up a certain ugly truth. So why not just shut up and watch the show, no? Some fuglymoronicauntie keeps stalking me on Twitter and thinks whatever I bitch there has to do with her pathetic life. Darn. What's with people these days? And I thought I'm stupid enough to even have a blog here.

I'm holidaying yet again. If there's one reason I hate the holidays it's because all the nonsense starts eating up my head and I'll start making up dramas for myself. What kind of dramas you're wondering? Even fighting with my beloved sister over the menu in a seafood restaurant counts, for goodness sake! Yes, I'm this childish, mind you~ You see, me and the family are for sambal sotong but the little bitch just won't let her taste buds flirt with spicy dishes. Damn I love democracy because the evil majority wins and I was amused to watch her sobbing. Hahaha! That's why I enjoy going to the theatres sometimes to watch others' misery. Blek.

Oh yes, about democracy. Talked to a stranger on MSN once about the democratic system being the reason of destruction of justice in our beloved Bolehland. I have no statistics or quotations from relevant sources to support this argument but you just gotta sit back, relax and let the bitch here do the simple lecture. Democracy is for a society that is intellectually developed enough. Bolehland is too segregated to agree on a same direction. You have one group of apes that yell for special treatment, rights and privileges and another pack of dogs that is for meritocracy. The truth is all these are happening because we get to vote for what we like. When these people are voted into the legislative chamber, they can't get into an agreement which pleases all of us. While they say the majority which consists of the apes are fairly happy with the economical policy which favours them, a distinctive large portion of the people, the dogs are uber fuming all the time. We won't be surprised if something like the May 13 tragedy will repeat some day. So this friend of mine suggested we need someone like Lee Kuan Yew to right all these ridiculous wrongs. Sadly, the closest person to be as powerful as LKY was our honorable Tun M. Enough said about Tun M. We all know how his political ideology is beneficial for mostly the apes and many of the projects introduced during his time are killing us by present. Oh boy. We need a LKY desperately because no matter how fairly the electoral system is going to be conducted, Bolehland will still go down to drain with all the social encumbrances. :(

Shit. I haven't written anything about politics for so darn long!!

Exploitation

It's fucking when one exploits you.

But come to think of it; I'm so amazing people just have to know more about me. So spread the words and I'll get the attention. Thank you, bitch. You're so cheap may you and your mum burn in hell. I can do the same thing to you. I mean it's all about manipulating rumours and spreading them to the right people and getting your desired outcome. But I won't. Coz I'm a bitch with ethics.

Oh yes, I'm living a good life. There're great friends and loving family behind my back. Don't be jealous. By the way, bystanders can fuck your own business. It doesn't make you any less a teenage drama queen to play mediating here. Duh.

What?!!!!

The crazy lil sister texted me a message using the old man's cell phone.

W: U back Saturday?

Me: Yea, of course. Tell Mimi I got the Excellent Student Award from the law firm.

W: Oh. Is it new student...it's a gal or boy?

Me: What? I said I received an award. I attended an interview two weeks ago, remember?

W: Boy or girl?

Me: What?! I don't understand you laaaaa...

W: Oh sorry. Mimi say gong xi.

What the fuck they teach the kids in the school these days? She can't even understand simple English~~~~

To Annoy For the Rest of Your Life

I took the 21st Century Vitamin C tablet instead of the other ones mum gave me before I left for the School. At this age, I am impliedly given the liberty to make choices and do things without the parents' acknowledgement. But one thing that doesn't change is the constant nagging from the two aging figures. They used to look so tall and strong. Now they are a mixture of wisdom and foolishness to me. They tell me the things I didn't know like life is a bitch and friends are mere fragile human beings. They believe in ridiculous things I don't agree.

I once thought they are the most boring married couple on Earth. No sweet talks, no hugging. In fact, bad temper thrown at each other sometimes. Pop culture and either classic or contemporary literature brand 'romance' with kisses, passionate love making, chocolates, flowers and cards . Sad for the most of us, romance is wasteful. At least '500 Days of Summer' agrees too. Just when you thought romance is materially-related, you gotta observe an old couple holding hands in a park and redefine 'romance'.

Dude, it isn't fake. It's just different from whatever crapful belief you used to cultivate. Coz I find my parents interestingly romantic. He would slap her tummy saying, 'You look like rice dumpling with juicy pork!' and she would hit his back calling him 'Shitty old man!' and then they would laugh at each other's aging body. He worked real hard to give her the luxury today. She went through the bad days with him when they were dating. It was for quite a while, a long-distance-relationship; with no instant messages, e-mails and cell phones like what we have by present. He wrote her a love letter just once. Yes, just once. I'm proud to tell you they're married for 25 years. It started with a wedding dinner of not more than 8 tables. And I hope it will last till their last breath on Earth.

As I said goodbye, I looked at the two with mixed feelings. How I wish I can take someone back home for dinner with them one day and tell them, 'Hey, old folks. I found someone equally stupidly romantic as you two!' ... ...

I drove. I unpacked. I cleaned the damn room and rearranged the furniture for some feng shui goodness. Here I am back at the School with a hope for great things. :)

[I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. ~Rita Rudner]

Bark bark bark

This is my domain you're stepping into. They say there is too much of darkness and that it needs to shed a little light. Being gloomy attracts nothing but bitterness. Didn't want my readers to go mellow after reading these words of mine so I took quite some time off to explore the other side of me; the one who used to laugh like a clown and make jokes out of every stupidity.

There were pieces of crap thrown right in my face when I found myself lost in search of those memorised statutes and terms during the finals examination but the tiring preparation proved to be fruitful. The results were satisfying although not good enough. I know for certainty I'm good but for most of the time I keep the cool and stay average. Why rush when things are good enough at the moment? Not sufficiently ambitious if I don't stop by the library everyday and make full use of the free time to read up law notes? Don't want to be a git who doesn't appreciate life. (This is merely a reassurance that I was utilising my limited capacity in absorbing the legal knowledge in classes quite well...)

Thank Gaga for the holidays friends are getting back into my life. Movies, theatre, mamak meals, shopping and pillow talks make me feel humane once again. They always say I'm the busiest person they have ever known. Laughed my ass out, idiots. I spend my time loitering at home and driving around the hometown for leisure instead of meeting up with the boring faces too often. Ngek ngek. Call me an asshole but I find gatherings should be as less frequent as possible. And besides. those whom I genuinely feel like visitting are always faraway, busy or perhaps just-not-there-for-me. Hmm.

And also the parents and sister. It's amazing how the old folks never fail to treat you like you're still 5. At least this keeps me from trouble like getting a girl pregnant (*cough*) or being involved with drugs. See, you don't need a religion to teach you these after all. :P The sister has finally learnt new English words and finds herself so much more comfortable conversing in English. Awww. Glad that the la la part of her is dying.

Good day, people. Good day. Although I'm currently stuck in a law firm doing this ridiculous attachment as part of the requirement so I can leave for the UK next September. Can't wait. The other side of the world is waiting for this bitch. ~Bark~

That I would be Fine even if ...

'That I would be good even if I did nothing

That I would be good even if I got the thumbs down

That I would be good if I got and stayed sick

That I would be good even if I gained ten pounds

That I would be loved even when I numb myself

That I would be good even when I am overwhelmed

That I would be loved even when I was fuming

That I would be good even if I was clingy

That I would be good even if I lost sanity

That I would be good whether with or without you ... ...'


['That I Would Be Good' by Alanis Morissette]


I first came across this song a month ago at Kelly Clarkson's All I Ever Wanted Concert in Stadium Bukit Jalil. My all time favourite Kelly Clarkson's rendition sounded fairly wonderful but Alanis Morissette has always had this really raw and friendly soulful but pop-ish kind of voice that gets you connected to her sentimentality easily. It's about her battle with her own insecurities and how she finally got to learn that things will be alright anyway, eventually.



I had this close friend not too long ago. She fights, laughs and hides her miseries all the time. She pretends as if everything is fine. I can no longer share my true feelings with anyone that easily anymore. I'm just really tired but I just gotta take it all like a man and act as if I'm okay. Ironically, I wish to be understood but I know how much difference it will make if I am being honest to the people around me.



I want to be good. I have to. Come to think of it; it's funny how I sort of thought of this lousy girl whenever I'm feeling down. She is just a great reminder that friends have limited patience; you can't spit everything to them and expect them to share the burden coz they got their lives to be fucked up with too. We're all fucked up so nobody dies a virgin after all. They're fucked up enough so don't go around showing your pathetic faces to dampen their suffering after getting themselves fucked hard ~

That's It. It's Time to be Not So Nice ...

I love watching politics but getting involved in them sucks.

They usually root from the formation of this group of shadow cabinet against the government-sorta gang. Never ever have I enjoyed being dragged into whirlpools of dramas because I know how fugly they will turn out. But this time I just had to get myself involved. I hate seeing people being ignorant to how their own flawed characters result in the mistakes they created. I am simply irritated by the fact that they have to live in their own box to defend themselves. I cannot tolerate with people who find fault in others for the lack of support they desire. For goodness sake, take a look at the mirror and figure out what is wrong with yourselves for the grumblings and whining you get almost all the time. Therefore, I just gave way to my irrational emotions. I had to. Even though I may lose some worthy friends.

I was told a lawyer must be as rational as he can. I apologize to myself for letting the emotions to take over myself.

Be as smart as you can, but remember that it is always better to be nice than to be smart. Karma knows character is higher than intellect because a devil is too smart to reveal his broken wings. Gosh ...

The Rules

The wise Rabindranath Tagore, the author of the book I used to call my bedtime bible 'The Crescent Moon' gave us all a really good reminder that 'age considers; youth ventures.' Hence, all the nagging and repetitive advice we get from parents that cannot seem to ring into our heads when they are desperately needed. Why? Because we have to learn from experience. Experiences can be really expensive if they have monetary values and we are all bound to be millionares if experiences are high in demand for sale. How I wish these valuable experiences are not the outcome of mistakes but I find no good argument to doubt bad judgments do make us wiser people. No heartbreaks mean no maturing, yes?

Young souls tend to invest whatever they can because the best asset they can offer is their youth but the capacity of willingness to 'give' diminishes when one ages because the more one collapses the more careful he walks the next time. You are walking so careful it irritates me. You are pampered by my venture and care not to venture further on me. To you, it all ends with the same deadlock. You do not observe the basic Rule of Love and your coldness exposes how cowardice you are in nature. You told me your friends are making bad investments and so you do not want the unintended wastage happening on yourself. I was hurt. Badly hurt and weeping inside to learn of your sentiment.

I could have told you I will not be a failed investment for I am willing to wait. But it seems not to matter because you are who you are, haunted by your past. What kind of love is this if you are not willing to give and I cannot take anything? Sigh ...

There are three fundamental but justifiable postulates of the Rule of Law formulated by Albert Venn Dicey but none for the Rule of Love. May I suggest three ideals for the Rule of Love, in that:

(1) Love is the highest form of law and no law shall be put unto love.
(2) Love unlike investment is a charity.
(3) Love is only a small piece of puzzle to complete your life.

Choices Suck

'It is our choices that show who we truly are, far more than our abilities.' - JK Rowling, Harry Potter.

You know what they say, being honest to yourself is so much harder than convincing someone else of what and who they really are. It's just like I'm telling you you need to work yourself out and stop being a bitch to yourself or to those who care for you, before you start hurting yourself but instead of turning over a new leaf, you go on messing with your life, screwing yourself down to the drain and the next thing you know, I heard of the news that you might be pregnant. Shall I give you a standing ovation for such pride of yours over your indecent sexual activity, evidently, the likely public announcement of your estopped menstruation for the past two months on Facebook? Or shall I as an ex-close friend, mourn over the death of the rational and cheerful soul in you that I once knew not too long ago? If things did not change too fast too scaringly, I just wish I could give you a big tight slap as a friend who reads your silent misery to wake you up widely from the nightmare you induced yourself into. Unfortunately, I have to agree with Switchfoot's 'This is Your Life'. You are who you want to be, stranger, given all the abundance of good things and paths you could have chosen.

On another note, I had a really rare conversation with my Indonesian maid. We call the 22 year-old maid, 'Kakak' or sister in Malay Language. Honestly speaking, I don't fancy having a close friendship with maids even though I had in the past because some maids just can't seem to reciprocate even the royal treatment you give them. I was told to persuade Kakak to extend her employment contract for another 2 years with us because we eagerly need a helpful maid at home to help out with the moving out and household chores while the house renovation is conducted. It was actually our first time conversing that long. We talked about her life back in hometown, her younger sister and what the society in the rural village expects of her. It's somewhat sad. She is torn between abiding the norm of getting married before reaching the age of mid 20s and earning more to support the living of her family. She may choose but the choices are limited. To stay back and work for the money that finances her sister's college studies and to be bound to be single for the rest of her life (customary tradition of suitable age for marriage) or to return to where she belongs so she can plant vegetables alongside her aging mother and to marry someone who will most likely cheat on her. It's not uncommon that marriages are doomed to fail there. (Well, you know the Indonesians.) She then decided to stay. Of course my mum was the happiest but Kakak while enjoying the more comfortable life here is saddened that she will not reunite with her family so soon.

Life's not always fair. Sometimes you can get a splinter even sliding down a rainbow. And when I'm typing this, I can't cease myself from being affected by my poor pet dogs. I'm not at all a pet lover but what shall I do with George and Bobby who are infected by heart worms and have lost their survival skills if my father abondons them on the streets when the house renovation begins? An alternative is to opt for PAWS, an animal shelter. Sending them both to the shelter means murdering them because PAWS shall put them to sleep if they are infected by diseases. My father suggested leaving them to be fed by the construction workers while we are away staying temporarily in an aparment but I doubt the workers will treat our dogs nicely.

'Only the pot knows how hot the boiling soup feels.' - Like Water for Chocolate

It just reminds me of myself when I first recognised myself being doomed to be who I am right now. Some argue it's about choice but I still can't seem to agree. What if I can't change what it's supposed to be? Well, somehow it doesn't really matter anymore because I really enjoy being who I am by present. (^_^) Sorry for the MIA-ness. Blame the school policy and lousy course structure.

A Lady Gaga Inspiration: Bad Romance

If you think nerds are not hot, sexy and cool; take a look at this and judge for yourself.

A new friend of mine whose knowledge miles away exceeds his peers and sometimes lecturers has all the intelligence and confidence we law students desire. The contradicting thing about him is he labels himself a loser when it comes to girls and relationship. (=_=) He says it all the time," Romance is not my game." My best suggestion for him is to listen to more of Lady Gaga's hit songs like 'Bad Romance' and 'Lovegame' to learn more dirty tricks to win girls' heart. Yea yea yea, as if I am the professional here.

On the other hand, just when I thought I have mastered the art of shutting myself off from unnecessary misery, I wept like a girl twice this month. Thanks to a sister-buddy who just left for Melbourne and the other close girl friend who made me recall of the good old days in our very brief reunion. Jeez. I must have a truly romantic nature, for I weep when there is nothing else to weep about. LMAO~~~

It Doesn't Matter that We are Meant to Say Goodbye

They say we tend to instil excessive expectation on our other half because we learn unnecessary flights of imagination and fantasies from novels and movies of romance genre. The one who loves least controls the relationship and so I consider ourselves very rational because we do not stick to each other like those typical dead-locked infatuated lovers. Why one would prefer flying in his dreams when staying awake and enjoying the reality of having someone like you as a listener every night could be so comforting? Thank you, really, for being who you are and accepting my flaws and immaturity.

I care not that you find yourself dull, robotic and know nothing of romance. I care of cherishing the weekeends and hours we spend intimately before we are to go our separate ways some day soon. We were given: two hands to hold, two legs to walk, two eyes to see and two ears to hear. But why only one heart instead of two? Perhaps the other was given to someone else, for us, to find. And I hope you are the one, for now.

Happy Valentine's. Appreciate.

Law of Attraction Says it All ...

So I went to the Accomodation Office for the N-th time to meet the manager for the very first time.

I found yet another dead cockroach next to my refrigerator on Sunday. It totally killed my jovial weekend mood. Just put yourself in my shoes: Shopping and burning some cash with a recently given platinum card and before I had time to celebrate my new polo shirt and three pairs of uber gorgeous pants, I got freaked out by a dead pest. This is not normal at all. I know of people living in the same residence hall and yet they do not have problem with pests or bad smell. I did whatever I could to get rid of the odour. I mop and sweep the floor very often and develop a new 0bsession for making the bathroom shine like diamond. Do I have to mention the pandan leaves, charcoal, pest trap (previously)? And yet cockroaches love my room so much they have to pay me unwanted visits.

Accomodation Office Manager tried to sound as friendly as he could but with me playing lawyer with him with my upset facial expressions and careful use of language, he decided to make the conversation sarcastic. Typical Malaysian attitude of disrespecting consumers' interests. Is that what you call first amongst equals? (School motto. Duh~ Ya right...) Before making thourough investigation, he claimed I am being too sensitive and that if their actions do not meet my requirements I am free to surrender my lousy room and obtain my reasonable refund. Oh wow. Now I am starting not to love the School that much anymore~ Such unreasonable response to my complaint resembles the Malaysian common real life situation of women filing a police report that they got raped and getting cold shoulders from male police officers who assumed these rape victims are nothing but whores who invited sexual harrassment themselves. Now we know why women are yes-men (I meant yes-women) in the Parliament.

The lousy manager was so compelled to tell a story of his daughter having problems with centipede in her bathroom and that the Law of Attraction explains it all the daughter was the major reason for inviting the poisonous insect. Ahuh~ You do not need to be legally trained to pick up his ratio decidendi. So I asked him if I should be deemed the cause of my own pest trouble. He grinned and said he was giving useful suggestions to solve my problem. Aww. So sweet of him. Am I touched? HELL NO! If I am going to hell, I will drag him along too~!

You know, I wish the School teaches us first year Law students the Law of Attraction. Wonder how useful is that gonna be? Like if you keep telling yourself subconsciously you will get an A for English Legal System, you will seriously get an A? Oh darn it. Then we do not even need quality lecturers anymore :)

Am trying real good to control my anger by telling myself: I am a lovely and funny guy and do not let cheap things get into my classy, sophisticated mind. Hopefully Law of Attraction works this way then. LMAO ... ...


'I used to store anger and it affected my play. Now I get it out. I'm never rude to my playing partner. I'm very focused on the ball. Then it's over.' - Helen Alfredsson, American Golfer.

Jantan Sejati

Do you know how much pride I take in having all these hideous bruises? People love labelling me 'sissy' but that does not stop me from kicking and hitting my opponents in the Taekwondo ring. Mum wants me to play basketball since childhood because most guys out there show off their masculinity by sweating and running around and attracting the opposite sex's attention by flexing their muscles. Dad expects me to be like him; capable of fixing light bulbs, car engine and enduring the tiresome ordeal of gardening. I am sorry. I cannot be someone I am not meant to be. The least I can do to be a man is to protect the people I love from being hurt. That explains it all why I like Taekwondo to this extent of being injured so badly. There may come a day when I need to make use of the self-defense skills to keep my girl friends, sister or my mum from being hurt. Who knows macho guys may need me too?

A guy does not need a muscular body figure.

A man does not need to be athletic. A manly instinct lies in its nature of being defensive and loyal to those who he cares. I care not not to be a guy you expect me to be as it is shallow to stereotype a gender. I would do whatever it takes to keep my beloved ones from harm. This is what makes me a man; perhaps more manly than any of the egoistic guys out there who love to belittle men of different behaviour and exploit the ladies who are of the same gender as their mothers.

But there is a man we all have to look up to, that is our every own father. A Father: Someone we can look up to no matter how tall we get.

Looking forward to the Taekwondo friendly match next week. :)

Liberalism at School

Criminal law case studies are such painful but fascinating tasks. I have this new habit of citing case authorities even in casual conversations with my fellow seniors and classmates to crack ourselves into laughter. Nothing can stop me from falling in love with the academic arguments and fruitful discussions with these people. This is what I call a real study environment.


What excites me the most is the liberal culture that is practiced in this School. In most colleges in the Klang Valley, you find school management giving us cold shoulders despite the great amount of fees paid and complaints filed not entertained most of the time, unless parents' involvement create a certain surge of upholding consumers' rights amongst ignorant students. This is a fact. We, Malaysians are such typical Asians who care not to observe the fundamental rights we hold but care only of personal interests and family dignity. Maoism and Confucianism best reflect our binding rule of life, that is, to abide by the regulations laid down by the Elders and as long as we fulfill the social expectations we are good and successful human beings. No. I refuse to conform to Western Liberalism (drugs, sex without commitment etc) but I do believe in freedom of speech. If you do not believe in my point of view, do take a look at our education system. Memorising your teachers' teachings and following their instructions tightly are all about getting good grades. (of course it comes with hard work and a little bit of intelligence) Writing down every single word in academic references for homework in foreign countries may fail themselves because there is no personal touch of criticism and individuality. Now we know why we are far left behind, don't we? So, please start making a change by debating with your parents about politics and traditional customs.

The School and our Student Council co-organised this annual grand event called the Student Forum. The attendance of the Senior Managers of each department is compulsory and all students are invited to ask questions and raise any controversial issue. Those Senior Managers who are not able to provide a satisfying answer shall bear the shame of being incompetent in their work. Doesn't this resemble Question Time and Check on Executive? (I like Constitutional Law a lot) Being the usual clownful outspoken joker who does not formulate whatever message he wants to convey in his speech before opening his mouth, I stepped forward and told the whole School about my ridiculous story of the pests in my hostel room. (Killed 8 big juicy cockroaches so far. Got ambushed by a rat once) I demanded for a new room as I emphasised I deserved what I paid for and giving me a new, complete-furnished, pest-free room is the least the School can do to pay for all the costs I have incurred recently - the tiring moving in and out of my belongings to a temporary room and my loss of concentration during revision hours due to the flying cockroaches and rats.

I also praised the staff at the Accomodation Office and B & G Departments for being patient, friendly and responsive all this while. It was such a relief to have told the Senior Management about my situation but I doubt the School will provide me a new room. Sigh. Rooms are all booked in the hall, so said. What a lie. Nevertheless, the Student Forum was such a good platform for students to throw their doubts and voice their grievances toward the School that is achieving the 'University' status next year. I love the part where we are allowed to condemn the Management in public. How liberal of that! The least such a platform can do is to remind the Senior Managers they have to seriously take further actions to tackle all the issues concerned.


It made me wonder though. If the previous school I belonged to had organised an event as such or at least be more liberal to criticism, instead of forwarding students' blogs to the public, I would not have to undergo emotional roller-coaster and be forced to adapt to such a sudden change in environment albeit I love almost everything about the current School at the moment.

Liberalism has its downside though. 'It only takes 20 years for a liberal to become a conservative without changing a single idea.' - Robert Anton Wilson...

Me encanta revistas jurídicas...

Bonding with the law journals and collections of articles which are thicker than yellow-pages is so much easier than dealing with non-sensical jokers who find themselves playing too much with the boundaries of rationality and sentimentality. The least one can do if the rhetorical legal language causes a hell of confusion is to refer to a simplified case book or Nutshell references for a remedy to mend those holes punctured in an intially-ambitious-heart, a naive heart with great passion for Justice. I find myself in favour of the people-book bonds than the overestimated people-people affairs.

A month ago I told myself: if there is a law to govern what we humans embrace so much, that is 'friendship', I would love to criminalise the omission of 'duty to care for a friend' and the voluntary act of 'backstabbing your close friend(s)'. Somehow, with the influence of the tranquility of the law library and the endless case studies, I concluded I made the right prompt choice by leaving the city of drama queens and conflicts. A month later, the new environment tells me not to let the past haunt myself and no apologies need to be given. I cite the case Empress Car Co v National Rivers Authority to convey the extent of responsibility I had over the recent drama.

The downside of staying in the outskirts is: I forgo the opportunity to live the urban style of being competitive and cunning. This downtown boy here calls 'friendship' an insignificant human nature if you were to compare it with all those relevant precedent cases which come with judicial review or great criticisms. Hello, the world is not going to end just because someone tells everyone you are ugly or whatnot. Mind your own business and think like those typical evil lawyers in John Grisham's novels. Emotions are such unnecessary burden to be shouldered they kill time and motivation. So wake up!

Throw away the bad and take in the merits of those valuable experiences. Just let me study in peace and fuck off, odds.

'Hope doesn't come from calculating whether the good news is winning out over the bad. It's simply a choice to take action.' - Anne Lappe. I believe I took mine.